520 Days and Counting

The first second Josh laid eyes on Jack he, a man who never has emotions, cried so hard he had to gasp for air. Jack’s arrival in this world was literally breathtaking. It seems serendipitous now considering he needs a machine to breath, I guess the world took his breath away too. 

The NICU journey is one of numbers: good numbers, bad numbers, scary numbers, numbers that equate to milestones and numbers that you never knew could mean so much. 260 mornings waking up without your baby at home. Hundreds of trips to and from the hospital. Thousands of different faces some happy, some sad, some you come to love and some you never see again. 2640 of the most terrifying, emotional and transformative hours.

For Jack the numbers game did not end when we loaded him up in the car, the numbers keep counting on... more nurses but this time in our home, more alarms from machines but this time just his and not his neighbors and the constant but soothing hum of his ventilator that counts every breath he takes.  

The days of this journey are long, during the dark days you take solace thinking of your little badass and how hard they fight, even when they are sick and tired of being sick and tired. Those little humans will give you unbelievable strength—the strength you need to keep on keepin’ on. They inspire you and help you through this as you support them on their journey to becoming the most amazing little person you have ever met. There are also so many of the other times— the really good times. The times where your heart has never have felt so full. The times when you look into their precious eyes and all is right in the world. You get to watch their tiny frail body’s turn from wrinkles to chub, and you celebrate each ounce gained. 

260 days is an eternity when your child is in the hospital. But then comes that sweet long awaited morning when you wake up and they are both home, safe and sound, under the same roof. I treasure every single morning.