2018 - A Year In Review

2018 was a helluva year, it had losses and gains, it had happy times and sad times and it was the most challenging year of my life. We started the year with the utmost optimism. We had two baby boys on the way, Josh entered his 30th trip around the sun, both of our careers were booming and we were busier than ever. Then the three most life changing things happened in months 2, 3 and 4:

2.My Nana went to the hospital. This was not particularly unusual but this time was different, it was worse than ever before. My whole family knew but they all chose not to tell me because I had a busy day at work. Let me repeat that for you, I had made work such a priority that my family chose not to tell me that my favorite person was dying in the hospital because my calendar was full. A few days later on February 13th Nana died. Luckily, I got to be with her before she passed. There were a few lucid moments and I will treasure those forever.

3.Not even a month later on March 6th I found myself confined to a hospital room. I was 24 weeks pregnant and my water had broken so I was to live in the hospital for 10 weeks. Yea… that didn’t happen. On March 12th our tiny babies were born. Jack came first at 1lb 13.5oz and 13.5in long and Rory followed 18 minutes later weighing in at 1lb 12oz and 12in long. The NICU journey was long and challenging but life altering and rewarding. We were trained and specialized on our kids, we met some of the most phenomenal people and we came out the other side with the two most precious babies in the world.

4. On April 14th I took a major demotion at work. While this was not ideal it turned out to be one of the single best things to happen this year. I was able to take on a remote position which has given me the ability to spend more time with my kids and have the flexibility to get them to and from their many, many appointments. Work is important to me however, I never want it to be so important that it comes before my family ever again.

The subsequent months were mostly a blur on repeat, work-visit boys-shower-sleep-repeat. We did this routine for 5 months and then in July our sweet Rory came home! This was such a bittersweet moment, walking out of the hospital with your baby after 111 days is magical but leaving the other one behind is soul crushing. From here on out everything was different. While Rory was healthy and happy we could not risk taking him to a germ infested hospital every day so this meant that we would have to take turns and go entire days without seeing Jack.

Having Rory home was tremendous but Jack was getting worse, he was requiring more and more oxygen support and the hospital that he had been in since birth had run its course and decided it was best for him to be transferred to our local Children’s Hospital to be evaluated for a tracheostomy and a gastrostomy tube. This led to another dark time, Jack continued to get worse and he got a cold in the hospital.While a cold for me and you means a nap and some chicken noodle soup, for Jack it meant being intubated and subsequently sedated for 4 weeks. This was a living, barely breathing, nightmare. Our sweet happy boy was a shell, he couldn’t babble, he couldn’t cry, and he couldn’t be held. By the time we got to the surgery we were almost grateful for something that before had terrified us. This surgery meant a new start for Jack and a chance to come home, finally. Jack came out of surgery like he comes out of most things, like a bad ass and it was only uphill from there.

The last three months of the year were the best of my life. We celebrated our first holiday season, Jack came home, we had a stay-cation and we rang in the new year with both of our babies home safe and sound.

Now we get to start a new year, new challenges and a new life and I am so freaking excited that I am inviting you to join us! Wherever you are on your life’s journey, I hope that throughout 2019, your path is a little easier, a little more clear, and filled with people who truly love and care for you. Let’s all make 2019 our best year yet together!