18 Month Twin Update

Jack and Rory are officially 18 months old! It’s so hard to believe that these two have only been around for 18 months, I can barely remember my life without them in it. Now, I’m sure pre-mom Bethany may have had a lot more sleep and freedom but she definitely had a whole lot less love and pure joy in her life. Cheesy I know… but oh so true. I mean just look at these cuties.

While the boys are 18 months old they have an adjusted age of 15 months. For those of you not familiar with premature birth this simply means that because they were born in March but not technically due until June we subtract 3 months from their actual age to get to their adjusted age. Adjusted age is used for developmental and growth milestones for preemies. Because they are so super tiny when they are born their bodies and minds are not fully cooked yet so they need a padded measuring tape to adjust for the odds that were stacked against them at birth.

Both boys had their 18 month follow up appointments last week and I thought it was about time my blog friends had an update. so here are the details…

JACK

Jack is growing and developing tremendously! He is still a bit behind his brother in his developmental goals for his adjusted age however, he has a darn good excuse. His extended stay in the NICU was not chock full of developmental opportunities due to his illness and eventual diagnosis so he is delayed by an extra 2 months. BUT just like everything else Jack has done in life he is kicking butt and catching up to his brother in his own time. Here are some of Jack’s latest developmental milestones:

• He can sit up alone and unassisted

• He can move from laying to sitting unassisted

• He can say the words: Mama, Dada, baba (blanket), bye bye, and wow

• He can wave, give high fives, sign all done and blow kisses

• He is ALMOST crawling, he is so close but just doesn’t quite have the mechanics down

• He has 6 teeth but still no interest in eating anything with his mouth

Medically speaking Jack is doing well. We are now up to 1 hour and 45 minutes off the vent each and every day and he has started increasing in increments of 30 minutes per week. He is also up to date on all of his shots and he is growing lighting fast, here are Jack’s latest growth stats:

• Height: 2.5 feet

• Weight: 23.2 pounds

• Head Circumference: 16.9 inches

RORY

Rory is incredible, he is truly our miracle baby. His start in the world was a lot harder than his brothers at first but once he decided to get better he just got better and better and better. He is definitely 18 months going on 13 years and he has an at-ti-TUDE! But he is so darn cute it is hard to stay mad at him for long. Rory is excelling developmentally and here are some of his latest milestones:

• He can walk ya’ll. Like really really walk

• He can play while kneeling or squatting

• He can get from sitting to standing and back to sitting

• He can say: Mama, Dada, baba (bottle), hello, bye bye, uh oh, yep and wow

• He can wave, give high fives, and blow kisses

• Has 6 teeth and will eat anything you put in front of him

Medically speaking Rory is a normal boy. He no longer has any residual health issues due to his prematurity except for his astigmatism in his left eye. He is also up to date on all of his shots and he is growing at the speed of light, here are Rory’s latest growth stats:

• Height: 2.4 feet

• Weight: 22.84 pounds

• Head Circumference: 18.5 inches

We have made it so far from our 1lb 13 oz tiny wrinkly, red, alien babies and we could not be prouder parents!

520 Days and Counting

The first second Josh laid eyes on Jack he, a man who never has emotions, cried so hard he had to gasp for air. Jack’s arrival in this world was literally breathtaking. It seems serendipitous now considering he needs a machine to breath, I guess the world took his breath away too. 

The NICU journey is one of numbers: good numbers, bad numbers, scary numbers, numbers that equate to milestones and numbers that you never knew could mean so much. 260 mornings waking up without your baby at home. Hundreds of trips to and from the hospital. Thousands of different faces some happy, some sad, some you come to love and some you never see again. 2640 of the most terrifying, emotional and transformative hours.

For Jack the numbers game did not end when we loaded him up in the car, the numbers keep counting on... more nurses but this time in our home, more alarms from machines but this time just his and not his neighbors and the constant but soothing hum of his ventilator that counts every breath he takes.  

The days of this journey are long, during the dark days you take solace thinking of your little badass and how hard they fight, even when they are sick and tired of being sick and tired. Those little humans will give you unbelievable strength—the strength you need to keep on keepin’ on. They inspire you and help you through this as you support them on their journey to becoming the most amazing little person you have ever met. There are also so many of the other times— the really good times. The times where your heart has never have felt so full. The times when you look into their precious eyes and all is right in the world. You get to watch their tiny frail body’s turn from wrinkles to chub, and you celebrate each ounce gained. 

260 days is an eternity when your child is in the hospital. But then comes that sweet long awaited morning when you wake up and they are both home, safe and sound, under the same roof. I treasure every single morning.

Work/Mom Balance

Hi, my name is Bethany and I’m a work-aholic. I can’t help myself. Being good at something helps me feel fulfilled and I’ve always been good at working. I started when I was 13 and in every position I’ve held since that day I have made work my ‘child’ A thing to nurture and a top priority. However, the day I had proper children everything I had ever known got flipped turned upside down.

While I love my Lil’ Babes tremendously and feel that being a mom is the best job I have ever had, it didn’t take away my desire to be successful outside of the home. Knowing my boys were safe and sound in the NICU I went back to work just 4 days after giving birth. I did this for a few reasons:

1. While I was in the process of planning for my maternity leave I was in no way shape or form ready when I had the twins at 25 weeks. I still had so many things on my to-do list to prepare my team for my absence.

2. My husband and I work at the same place and I needed to be close to him. There is only so much you can do in the NICU when babies are that itty-bitty. You can’t hold them, you can’t feed them, you can’t really bother them at all. So if I could not be with them I wanted to be with Josh.

3. I still had a dream scenario in my mind. I had sold myself on the idea that both boys would come home at the same time on their due date and we would get to do the maternity leave I had planned. Of course that is not how our story was written, I should have know better!

4. Most importantly I needed a sense of normalcy. I needed a routine, I needed to shut out how crummy I felt for 8 hours every day and just do the thing I had always been best at, work.

By the time our boys’ due date rolled around we were still planning on having the full set home soon. So I decided that I would transition to a work-from-home position, which would allow me the ability to be at home more and care for our tiny humans and the many doctors appointments and follow-ups that would surely be in our future. Little did I know at the time that Jack would take us on a entirely different path that would make this work-from-home position imperative. I ended up spending an entire year working remotely full time and I will treasure that period for the rest of my life. I had the flexibility to be available for all the meetings, therapy sessions, doctors appointments, surgeries, emergencies and milestones.

Cut to almost 18 months later and I have transitioned back into the office part time, spending the last two months in the office every day. In that time we had to call 911 once and we spent a week admitted to the hospital. It was gut wrenching to get those phone calls knowing that I wasn’t there and what is normally a quick drive home felt like an eternity.

Before entering motherhood I didn’t ‘get it’. I always try to approach everything with empathy and kindness but when I used to see mamas come into the office I didn’t realize the battles they had already fought that day. That they had to not just get themselves ready but also get kids fed, dressed, and dropped off all while staying on time.

I watched working moms count down until the end of the work day and then rush out of the office. I had no idea they were just getting started on the second round of their day. I didn’t realize they’d get in traffic and start calculating how many minutes until they got home to make dinner, to do baths and bedtime. I didn’t realize the massive feelings of guilt surrounding a mom’s career choices; for wanting to have a career, for not wanting a career anymore, or for being fine where she was because a promotion or more responsibility could send her world into a tail spin. I didn’t know that some days work were a break from screaming, teething babies. And some days work took her away from milestones and special moments at home.

I didn't know then, but I do now, the gig is hard. All mamas are working mamas whether you work in the home, outside of the home or anything in between. Now that I have fully lived this from all perspectives I have a whole new respect for all the mamas who came before me and those that are doing it along side me. So much love and respect to all the mamas in the world. Your job is so hard but you do it with grace and compassion and you are going to raise a fantastic human!

Jack's In The Hospital